Broken hearted again

So back to the friendship talk. . . . My best friend ended our friendship in a text message. Of all things - a damn text message! She stated that we were at different places, would miss what our friendship once was and ended with goodbye. She couldn't have surprised me more if she had walked up and hit me in the face. I tried over and over to get her to tell me why, but she has not responded and basically refuses to explain anything. What the hell???

I am a logical person, and I have searched my brain as to why she would do this; however, I have no reasons, but I have come to the same conclusion that I usually reach in such situations. When people can not explain their reasons for choices it is usually for two reasons. . . one, they know their reasoning is flawed and is ultimately lame; two, they have to come to terms with their own emotions and aren't willing to do that because it hurts too much.

I am beginning to think that people truly are callous individuals who really do not care about others. I have joked in the past that I hate people, but I am beginning to really hate people. I do not understand why friendship must be riddled with drama - is wanting a close relationship with an individual so difficult? Is wanting honesty and closeness too much? Is sharing the joys and sorrows of an individual's life too much? Why can't humans treat each other with kindness and loyalty?

Perhaps there is something wrong with me. . . . maybe I do demand too much from people. . . . maybe my expectations of others are too high. . . . maybe what I want in a friend is not possible. . . . maybe I am just not meant to have a close friend other than my husband. . . maybe in a previous life I was horrible to those I called friends, and I am paying for it in this lifetime. . . . . I wish that I understood why people abandon those who care and love them most. . . . . I wish that people knew the pain and anguish that they cause others. . . . I wish those people that I have called friend knew how much I have loved them and how I would have done anything that they needed. . . . I wish people understood how much they need each other. . . . maybe I should just give it up and resign myself to the fact that I am not meant to have close friends. . . . I wish I could accept this - it would make my heart hurt less and my life a little easier. . . . . at least in theory. . . . . I wish I could just not care anymore . . . . I wish I really could hate people